Now that I’m back in school, I’ve dusted off my dad’s old Bianchi and have started biking to class again, both in a bid to save some money and because parking is a surprisingly scarce commodity on college campuses. My most adventurous fashion statement for the first week of class was the “sweat backpack,” modeled below.
Luckily, the humidity finally broke and now I am looking forward to the complexities of staying warm and dry through the fall and winter biking months, while not retiring my large collection of impractical and ridiculous clothing. I am looking forward to introducing my campus to the queer-in-full-body-spandex look. I’m lusting after the accessories of serious bike commuter-ship, like these gorgeous panniers that are very high on my wish list and that I hope will save my back both from sweat and pain once they magically appear in my life (or I break down and buy something cheap). I am also thinking that my life will be better saved by a glisteningly gold and sparkly helmet that will make my head resemble a bowling ball. I’m a Sagittarius, hint hint.
One possibly essential femme bike commuting wardrobe item is the spandex short, for all your not-flashing-car-commuters-because-they-don’t-deserve-it-also-trying-to-avoid-chub-rub dress-wearing needs. I’ve been using garter shorts by ALLIHALLA on etsy. They’re not quite long enough to keep your inner thigh from making contact with vinyl but they’re long enough to create plausible deniability in terms of public decency. Plus they’ll hold up your stockings, aka those tights that didn’t use to be crotchless and now it’s to the point that you should just cut the legs off because now you have garter shorts. And you can wash them easily because the little clips are detachable. A whole new level of fance has been added to this sweaty femme’s repertoire.
Happy biking! Off to nurse my sore legs, and continue procrastinating (can you believe it, I have homework again!).